We all have a dark side and as little as we like to address it, INFJ personality times are no different. INFJs are supposed to be gentle, thoughtful, and kind-hearted and even though we are all those things, we are also so much more. So brace yourself for some “fun” facts about the INFJs darker side.
THE DARK SIDE OF THE INFJ PERSONALITY TYPE
INFJs tend to be stubborn
INFJ personality types in particular have a tough time accepting change. The “J” in INFJ (judgement) is a trait that is responsible for our obsessive planning and future-oriented thinking.
INFJs like to plan things in advance and when things don’t go as planned accepting this situation becomes uneasy and the mind becomes restless. This stubbornness can manifest on a larger scale but also in day to day life.
The stubbornness in simplest terms are due to the resistance to change.
Facing the reality does take time. But if given enough time for the mind to settle with truth, we can get along with life and accept the things as it is.
Deep sense of anger
The INFJ personality types are very prone to anger and rarely does it show on a surface level. Your anger might come out when you’re hurt, when you’re sad but it is very rare that you are actually angry just to be angry.
Your anger is often misconstrued when it’s your way of expressing pain.
Because we are highly individual people who seek the meaning behind everything our anger is often more than the situation requires. This can be due to a build up of suppressed anger that you have kept private.
Once again we very rarely show this side of us because we are ashamed of it. We are suppose to be helping others and yet we can’t seem to help ourselves when it comes to this bad trait.
Well anger is part of life and it is just another emotion to work through. Anger at least is on a level of consciousness that makes us take action. It is often the spark we need to make changes in our lives. So it can be used as a tool, but the fire won’t burn forever and it’s not enough to stay motivated.
The problem is when you have years of built up anger that you have not worked through, it is very difficult to start address the root of the issue. You might remember some key moments in your life when people betrayed you or disappointed you but that is often not the extent of it.
I often find that I am very angry at myself for not making better choices, for not being wiser, for not learning, for not being able to let go, for caring too much and angry at myself because I am angry.
INFJ personality types are very intuitive individuals and are able to read between the lines. This also makes us very good at manipulating people to try and illicit a response that we might want. We often don’t even realise that we are doing it.
It is a very confronting thing to admit and address as we ourselves very much despise being lied to or being manipulated. We are smart, sure, but we are not always conscious in the sense of being aware of why we behave certain ways.
Being aware of this tendency is important so that you you can use your intuitive powers for good not evil 😉
INFJ Personality Types can be destructive
INFJs can be very destructive, not just to others but to ourselves too. Often that is where it happens the most – within ourselves.
We overthink and create problems in our mind that don’t exist in reality.
We try and anticipate what others might do or say and self-destruct without ever giving said person a chance to surprise us. Because we struggle to let go we often hold onto previous experiences of a similar nature that might have gone wrong and anticipate that the future will turn out the same.
We must find a way to remember that people change, including ourselves and there is always hope for a different outcome.
Dislike of people
INFJs are often referred to as walking contradictions. We have a strong desire to make a difference in people’s lives and to help people, but we also dislike people.
We don’t always understand, and get frustrated, that they don’t think like we do. That they don’t understand us and that there is no hope for humanity – oh yeah I have certainly been there.
Yet there is this really deep cell within you that keeps telling you to have hope, that you can make a difference.